Teen logic - An example of the thinking of teenagers
by Corrie Lynne Player
author of Loving Firmness:
Successfully Raising Teenagers Without Losing Your Mind
Teenagers have their own logic An incident involving one
of my older sons illustrates the fancy mental footwork most teenagers can
execute. One day when this boy was about sixteen, complete with a new
driver’s license, he wanted to go to the midnight movie (something he
always wanted to do) with Ron, his best friend in the world. Since he’d
just been out the night before and because his room hadn’t been cleaned in
centuries, I said, “No.”
He also asked to take the
car, but at our house cars were only driven by kids who did their chores,
maintained a decent average in school, and who attended their church youth
activities. More reasons for me to say, “No.”
My
teenager
tried several generic arguments:
An hour later he
returned. While he was gone, muffled thumps, crashes, and cracklings
filtered through the walls; dust billowed from his door.
“I’ve cleaned my room, swept the garage, washed the car,
scrubbed the bathroom, and organized Dad’s tapes alphabetically. Now can
I go for a little while? Just to hang out at Ron’s?” The boy panted
audibly, a carefully crafted dust smudge on his forehead.
I wasn’t as experienced in teen logic at the time, so I
relented. “Okay, but be sure you’re home by 11:00. It’s Sunday tomorrow,
and you were out until 12:30 last night.”
He
flashed a dazzling smile, said, “Thanks, Mom; you’re the best,” and
hugged me. This gorgeous kid could charm a shark into becoming a
vegetarian.
I assumed he’d take his bicycle,
but, you notice, my instructions did not say, “Don’t drive the car.” Of
course, he knew not to drive the car without express permission, but
because he’d originally asked to take it and to go to Ron’s, he now
figured my granting of permission to go to Ron’s included the car.
That’s just the way an adolescent mind works. He drove out of the
driveway in the family van—with a set of keys he’d copied.
I may have let him get away with taking the car if he’d
made more than a token effort on everything he listed and if he’d
returned home at 11:00.
However, at 11:30,
thinking he’d let the time get away with him, I called Ron’s house;
Ron’s sister answered. When I asked to talk to my son, she told me
they’d just left for the midnight movie.
Here’s
another example of the illogical loops and twists that teenage minds
take. My son’s line of reasoning was, “I originally wanted to take the
car and go with Ron to a midnight movie. I couldn’t go because I hadn’t
done any of the stuff that gets me those kinds of privileges. Since I
went ahead and did everything I was supposed to (here the logic gets a
bit shaky—the chores indicated were supposed to take place over a week),
then Mom let me go to Ron’s. Ergo, I can drive the car, and we can go
the movie.”
The 11:00 deadline completely
slipped his mind.
See
