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From the astute mind of Rachel Gathercole comes The Well-Adjusted Child, considered by many to be the definitive book regarding the socialization question surrounding homeschooling. By discussing what homeschooling is—and is not—and what homeschoolers actually do during their day, Gathercole dispels the myth that even she herself once believed: that homeschoolers are "lonely misfits, incapable of simple conversation and pathetically starving for any kind of interaction with the outside world." As a homeschooling parent for ten years, and tired of questions about the "S" word, Gathercole exhaustively researched this topic by reading the experts, looking into what outsiders' opinions are, and most importantly, interviewing hundreds of homeschoolers. She uses this research data and the real-life stories of these homeschooling parents and their children to support her arguments throughout her book as she discusses, in a very easy-to-follow conversational tone, several topics related to how homeschoolers are socialized; some of these are: friends and peer contacts, independence and strong family relationships, bullying and adversity, and diversity.

Gathercole states, "What the public doesn't know is that homeschooling offers children many social benefits above and beyond what is offered by the institution of school." And homeschoolers support this by making it abundantly clear that homeschooling is not just an at-home version of what goes on in traditional schools, minus the ability to have contact with their peers. Norma, a homeschooling mother from Big Flats, New York, sums it up best for homeschoolers: "Being homeschooled doesn't mean that you don't spend time with other children. When you look at a classroom situation, it's very controlled. What opportunity do children have to socialize? Only recess, which is about fifteen minutes a day, and lunch."

Fifteen-year-old Julian from Katonah, New York, adds this sentiment: "I feel like I have fewer acquaintances and more true friends who would stick with me through hard times. Those are the friends who really count: the ones who actually care about you." Homeschooling has an infinite variety of forms (depending on what each family decides is best for them) and homeschoolers have the freedom to be out in the community and with other homeschoolers whenever and wherever they want.

Homeschoolers do have friends and, just like other children, they get time away from their families by joining sports teams, going to camp, babysitting, going to the mall, etc. And, as Gathercole points out, "[M]any homeschooling parents are careful to stay out of the child's way as much as possible, not stifling but quietly supervising from the background." She then goes on to explain why closer relationships with their parents and other adults through homeschooling are better for homeschoolers than peer contact in many instances—such as learning conflict resolution skills and tolerance for a diversity of people—with research data to support her claims. Not only are parental relationships looked at, but Gathercole also discusses the advantages of closer sibling relationships and how they positively affect future relationship with others.

Continuing to look at socialization in the areas of bullying and adversity as well as diversity (which many outsiders contend that homeschoolers are not taught to deal with), Gathercole uses a common sense approach about both, mentioning that the key advantage is that the parents are available to help teach their children how to deal with both situations: Lauriann of Las Vegas, Nevada, says of removing her children from public school: "Everything from being physically harmed to being teased and shamed [has turned around] …with the homeschoolers in our group, the children have fun, and … disagreements are a rarity." And Theresa from Ontario mentions, "… our group [has] Jews, Presbyterians, Atheists, and Baptists …[my son] is more than exposed to diversity." Once again, research data and many more examples from homeschoolers and their parents are used as evidence and to help the reader understand how it applies to the socialization question.

Many experts from traditional educational establishments do not understand what homeschooling is all about, and have blindly criticized homeschooling over precisely what is so succinctly defended through the above topics and others included in Gathercole's work. This resource is invaluable for those who are thinking about homeschooling, but are afraid that their children will somehow be "missing out" if not traditionally schooled; for those who are already homeschooling, but need a resource to help explain it to those who do not understand homeschooling; for the public at large to dispel their own misconceptions; and especially for the "education experts" of the traditional schooling philosophy who no longer can ignore the fact that homeschoolers not only prosper by learning in myriad ways in myriad places, but flourish socially as well.

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Gathercole, who has spent 10 years homeschooling her three children, says what most people wonder about is whether homeschooled children can work and play with others, in other words, their socialization skills. She begins by noting that "once upon a time, all children were homeschooled" before more formal schooling and the development of "school culture." She notes that conventional schools offer "socialization" through peer pressure, the stress of choosing between popularity and academic performance, and excessive attention to appearance. Drawing on her own experiences as a homeschooler, she details the networks of other homeschoolers who provide opportunities for their children—and themselves—to socialize. Gathercole also points to research showing that homeschooled children have stronger self-concepts than children attending conventional schools. Focusing on how homeschoolers address misperceptions, she explores concepts of socialization, the importance of friendships with other children, strong relationships with parents, and how homeschoolers eventually integrate into the "real world." Great encouragement for parents who are homeschooling and those who are considering it.—Vanessa Bush

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In his sociological study Kingdom of Children: Culture and Controversy in the Homeschooling Movement, Mitchell L. Stevens divides homeschoolers into two groups: those from the Christian day-school movement and those from the alternative school movement. First-time author Gathercole seems to be one of the latter and has here assembled the most common questions regarding the social aspects of homeschooling (e.g., "Don't the kids miss out on socialization?") and answers based in opinion, fact, and personal accounts from homeschoolers and their children. This formula works—Gathercole persuasively argues that homeschooling is not isolating but can be a sophisticated approach to socializing and educating children. The personal accounts especially challenge our cultural construct that school life is synonymous with childhood. While considering the social benefits of homeschooling, Gathercole also illuminates contemporary problems with public education. With a short list of web and print resources, this is not a how-to book, however. It is a successful albeit repetitious and elementary consideration of the topic intended for families in the initial stages of investigating homeschooling. Suitable for public libraries with large collections on the subject.—Fran Mentch, Cleveland State Univ. Lib.

This article can also be found on Access My Library

Since my family began home schooling in 1983, the most asked question relating to our home schooling has been "what about socialization?" Home schoolers need to be able to respond with a well thought out response to this question. Rachel Gathercole has provided the most complete answer to this question that I have seen. She brings out points that I had never thought of (I thought I had heard them all) and I will use in the future. This is a must read for home schoolers. It will give you the ammunition you need to intelligently rebuff anyone's concern about the socialization of your child. It will be a very valuable resource to give to those that are still skeptical after you have provided your response. This book is one of the most needed resources that heretofore been missing in the home school literary community. Thank you Rachel.

In this valuable addition to the homeschooling literature, Gathercole has wisely consulted the real "experts" — homeschooling parents and young people — in order to paint an accurate and compelling picture of the authentic socialization experiences of children who learn from real life. And in doing so, she confirms that this revolutionary educational philosophy is our best hope for helping young people develop the tools necessary to solve the problems that earlier generations of schooled people have created for the world.

Socialization — the "S" word — is one of the most commonly heard questions and concerns about homeschooling. Parents interested in homeschooling ask how their children will ever learn to get along with others, even while the poor socialization situation in many schools is often given as a significant reason to homeschool. Education professionals ask how homeschooled children can possibly learn to "fit in" if they're not subjected to 35 or 40 similar children day in and day out, even as they're touting the benefits of children maintaining their own identities and not being "lost in the crowd." Media people seize on the "socialization issue" every time an article about homeschooling appears in the mainstream press, even as school shootings make increasingly frequent headlines. The truth is, homeschooling offers incredible opportunities for true and meaningful socialization to take place, and, understanding this, Rachel Gathercole explains how it works. Her book is an important contribution to homeschooling — and to recognizing the real educational needs of children.

The [book] Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling shows case histories and research about not only how homeschooling is a successful choice for more and more families, but also why having children be nurtured by families and learn from people in their local communities during their compulsory school years can be far more valuable than having them run through the paces of the latest and greatest school curriculum.

In The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling Rachel Gathercole addresses an often pressing concern for those considering home education: socialization. Drawing on research and personal knowledge, Gathercole demonstrates that not only do homeschoolers make friends with both peers and adults, but their relationshi-ps, free of pop culture's standards of acceptance, are often more authentic than those of their schoolgoing counterparts.

Rachel Gathercole's book, The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling sorely needed to be written. As a long time homeschooler, I have talked to countless parents who say that they would like to homeschool their children, but don't due to fear of social isolation. My anecdotes and assurances sometimes tip the scale, but not always. If you or your spouse or extended family happen to be on the fence about homeschooling, please do your child a favor and buy this book. The author builds a brilliant case for the positive social aspects of homeschooling, in a clear and logical manner. I also appreciate the fact that she does not actively bash schools, and appears sensitive to the tough demands that today's institutional teachers face.

Home education is an incredible opportunity for children to learn at their own pace and in their own way. It is well known that homeschooled kids are often winners and finalists in national level competitions, such as the geo bee and spelling bee. Individualized education is quite simply a better fit for many children, and gifted children especially, who may be several different "sizes" at once. Would anyone care to argue that a tailor made suit would not fit better than one purchased off the rack? Sure, there are good schools out there, just as there are some people (both parents and children) who simply would not do well as homeschoolers. But for the great majority, homeschooling can be whatever it needs to be to fit the individual child. I believe that it is well documented that kids can benefit academically from homeschooling. The question then, is how do these home educated kids do with peers, and will they be able to interact well with people as adults?

Ms. Gathercole answers this and puts to rest the image of the awkward and isolated homeschooler. She explains in detail how homeschooling socialization is not merely an adequate replacement for the social lessons of institutional schooling. It may be surprising to many, but homeschooling is often a superior lifestyle for learning positive social interaction. Homeschooling actually allows kids to have more time with friends, less time with bullies and those who don't play nicely with others, and the chance to really get to know people of all ages and from all walks of life. Homeschooled kids are more apt to follow their own hearts and consciences, and less likely to be swayed by negative peer pressure.

Here's an excerpt from page 168, "A great deal of evidence supports the claim that homeschoolers end up very well prepared for the 'real world'." One study of adults who had been homeschooled as children found that none were unemployed, none were on welfare, and the vast majority believed homeschooling had helped them to become independent individuals and to interact with people from a variety of socio-economic backgrounds.. Gathercole interviewed homeschooled kids and parents from all over the country and included many of their comments as well. One college student and former homeschooler shares her opinion on the "real world" question, "It was a really comfortable situation and that led to me being really comfortable with who I am and my choices. And I don't see that necessarily in most other people my age. I think that a lot of that has to do with how our public school system takes personal choice out of most of it. You do things because you have to do them…."

This book is organized into chapters that each tackle a specific question or concern.

1. The Socialization Question
2. What Do Homeschoolers Do?
3. What Is Good Socialization, Anyway?
4. Friends and Peer Contact
5. Independence and Strong Family Relationships
6. Safety, Adversity, and Bullying
7. Freedom and Time to Be a Kid
8. Being Cool
9. Relationships with Other Adults
10. Diversity and Minority Socialization
11. Preparation for the "Real World"
12. Citizenship and Democracy
13. Teenagers, Identity, and Sense of Self
14. The Homeschooling Parent's Social Life
15. Socialization and Success

Appendix A covers practical matters such as recommended resources and tips. It also has a list of state homeschool organizations and other helpful web sites. Appendix B has an impressive list of famous homeschoolers, including such diverse talents as Frankie Muniz and Yehudi Menuhin, Fred Terman and Sandra Day O'Connor.

What more can I say about this book? If it doesn't ease your fears about the "S" word, I don't know what will. Rachel Gathercole has done an amazing job pulling together studies, real life stories, and heartfelt advice and inspiration that make a most convincing argument for homeschooling.

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Rachel Gathercole's newest book explores the never-disappearing question of "What about socialization?" She counters each aspect of the question, from coping with bullies to experiencing diversity, with thoughtful, intelligent answers that parents can use in responding to critics.

She points out that she is not saying homeschooled children will turn out just like public school children (and sometimes this is good.) Nor does she say they will never play badly with another child. She simply points out the advantages of a homeschooled socialization.

Gathercole has interviewed many parents and homeschooled children for this book, and their experiences are included, allowing parents to find others whose situations are similar to their own. In addition, the sociological research into homeschooled and traditionally schooled socialization has been referenced, for those who like their proof scientific rather than anecdotal.

The Well-Adjusted Child excels in helping homeschooling parents learn how to discuss the issue of socialization with others. Logical explanations that are easy to remember and to deliver help us answer the questions in a calm, rational way (as opposed to the somewhat sassy answers I gave in my first homeschooling book.)

The title makes it clear this is not an unbiased book, so it is less effective as a tool for making a completely informed decision about how homeschooling will affect socialization. The author promises to show the benefits, and this it does exceptionally well. She makes a highly rational argument for the social benefits of homeschooling. It is the first book on this subject I've encountered, and goes far beyond the myriad of articles currently available on the subject.

The range of subjects is exceptional. For instance, the author discusses racism in the schools and how homeschooling allows minority children to avoid facing their first experiences without the guidance of a parent, and how homeschooling allows children to be exposed to people outside their own neighborhoods and cultures. Gathercole talks about homeschooling as a means of helping a child feel connected to his community and society and to gain a powerful sense of self.

If you're trying to find answers for those well-meaning people who worry about your child's socialization, this is the perfect resource.

Rachel Gathercole's The Well-Adjusted Child: The Social Benefits of Homeschooling is a well-researched answer to the question so often asked of home educators, "What about socialization?" The author interviewed homeschooling parents and students from across the country and includes numerous anecdotes from them to further support the research and data she presents in the book.

Gathercole convincingly addresses the common socialization-related objections to home education, including concerns about insufficient peer contact, close family relationships, being cool, relationships with other adults, diversity, preparation for the real world, and even the suggestion that bullying and other forms of adversity are important social factors that homeschoolers miss out on by not being in school. But before delving into these and other issues, Gathercole addresses the lack of collective understanding that our culture perceives about what homeschooling is and what socialization is. She also emphasizes that although socialization might look different in a homeschooled child than it does in a schooled child, different does not mean worse. For many, school experiences and childhood are intrinsically linked, but for others, this is just not so and it doesn't mean they're missing out on something important.

Although what we [parents] all really want for our children is happy childhoods and the chance for them to grow up into happy, functional adults with the skills to have successful relationships, we tend to forget this and instead focus on comparing children's social experiences to an unquestioned "norm"—the typical school experience—that may in fact have little to do with this goal. Any difference or "missing" element (for example, riding the bus) is automatically seen as a lack, even without examining whether that element is important or even helpful to the objective of positive social learning.

I appreciated Gathercole's observations about whether homeschooling shelters kids and prevents them from interacting with different cultures, races, and socio-economic status:

Ultimately, though, in any educational situation, it is the attitudes and motivation of the parents that largely determine and inform a child's exposure, education, and attitudes toward diversity. Just as school systems are adopting special curricula to teach tolerance, so can (and do) many homeschool families emphasize or encourage tolerance, understanding, and acceptance of differences.

I heard several glowing reviews about this book in my local homeschooling group and I also highly recommend it for homeschoolers, regardless of their reasons for choosing home education, and also for those who are considering homeschooling. The Well-Adjusted Child would be just as informative and useful for well-meaning friends and relatives who do not homeschool but have concerns about the social effects of homeschooling and are open to learning more about it. (Honestly, if you're emphatically against homeschooling, nothing in the book is likely to sway your opinion, although you might have a few of your assumptions challenged.)

The parents sat in the principal's office. It was a private school with an excellent reputation, and yet the bullying had been merciless and the staff evidently helpless to intervene. The principal, deeply concerned at their decision to homeschool, raised objection after objection, each of which was answered with thoughtful consideration. At last, the principal nodded, paused, and brought out the big gun: What about socialization?

"What about socialization?" has become a byword in homeschooling circles. It's asked outright by concerned friends and relatives and by complete strangers. It's hinted at by those who say things like, "I could never stand to be stuck at home with my kids all day."

Our own family has heard it often enough. More often, however, we've heard compliments on how our children comport themselves in public, or how amazing it is that a ten-year-old (just for example; you might put in any age from two on up) can converse intelligently and unselfconsciously with adults, with both sides enjoying the conversation. Early on in our homeschooling experience, I felt the weight of the "s-word" cramping my style, and as a result we enrolled in just about every activity we could cram into the schedule. You name it, we did it: Scouts, music lessons, sports, choir, orchestra, art classes, 4H, Spanish for tots, drama, play days, park days, co-op classes, etc. We spent more time in the car than anywhere else. But when anyone asked the "s-question,. I could rattle off an impressive list! Our kids certainly weren't moldering away at home, they were being socialized at a tremendous rate!

Of course, if I'd read The Well-Adjusted Child in those days, I might not have skidded so close to the edge of homeschool burnout in a frantic effort to adequately socialize our kids. It took awhile for us to learn that we didn't have to fragment our schedule and ourselves in order to have well-balanced, well-rounded students. As a matter of fact, nowadays we limit our activities to two or three days a week, and the rest of the time we're at home. Our kids get their academics done in the morning, most "home" days, and have all afternoon to play and explore, and that seems to work best for us.

The Well-Adjusted Child is a thoughtfully written, well-documented book about the social aspects of homeschooling. It's a good book for beginning homeschoolers to read, or for those considering homeschooling (but are afraid of turning their children into misfits or geeks). It's also a good book for experienced homeschoolers to read, especially if they are mentoring beginners. A diversity of homeschool families and styles is represented. Sprinkled with examples and quotes from numerous real-life home educators, the book makes the case that homeschooling can actually provide a superior sort of socialization, if you're talking about people who know how to productively engage with other people regardless of differences. It also gives a good idea, for someone considering homeschooling, of how differing families are incorporating education into daily life.

For the sake of those who don't know much about homeschooling, the author gives a general introduction of what homeschooling is (and isn't) and what homeschoolers do with their time. She goes on to discuss socialization (as in learning social skills) and how it is acquired (or not) inside and outside of school walls.

The type of "socialization" we were acquainted with, from experience with public and private school, included cliquish behavior, bullying, peer pressure, ignoring or ridiculing younger siblings, and worse. Certainly, our older ones, before we made the decision to homeschool, learned how to raise a hand and wait for teacher recognition, how to stand in line, how to walk in a line, how to do busy-work while waiting for the teacher to have time for individual attention, but these are all things we could teach at home, if we thought such skills important. I'm not sure this is the "socialization" that people are asking about when they question the value of home education, but this seems to be the bulk of schoolish socialization, in our experience.

The type of socialization we are now familiar with, after more than a dozen years of educating our brood at home, includes getting along with others no matter what our differences, cooperating in work and play, teaching and learning by turns, and developing a strong sense of self, not just being a member of a herd. The Well-Adjusted Child deals with these areas, and more, including citizenship, diversity, relationships with family and others, and preparation for the "real world" (Think about it: Unless your child is going to be an academic, in an institutional setting, for life either studying or teaching, school is hardly preparation for the real world) including high school - some homeschoolers do choose to return to the institutional setting for higher grades - and college.

The author even treats with socialization on the part of homeschool parents. (Contrary to popular opinion, I for one am not "stuck at home all day long with the kids!") I found this chapter, as I found the rest, to be both reassuring and inspiring.

Rounding out the book is an appendix of "Resources, Tips, and How-to" including a list of statewide homeschool organizations, places to look for other homeschoolers, how to start a homeschool group, helpful books to read, and how to get started homeschooling. The books listed seem to lean towards relaxed homeschooling or unschooling, but I found a number of them helpful in our own early years. Another appendix lists famous homeschoolers through history and in various areas of endeavor. When you consider that institutional schooling as we know it now is less than two centuries old, you'll understand why this is not an exhaustive list, only a representative one!

The author includes two bibliographies, one of works cited, and another of "Other" books. Finally, an index helps in locating specific information.

Let's go back to where we began the discussion, the private school principal's question to the parents who'd decided to homeschool. "What about socialization?" she said, and sat back, satisfaction evident on her face, certain that these parents who so obviously cared about education would see reason, faced with this question above all questions.

The mother paused for a long moment, then answered, "We've had about as much 'socialization' as we can stand; thanks, but no thanks." And that was the end of the interview.

The funny thing is, as that mom told me years later, the socialization process didn't really begin until after they left school behind. Their social misfit—ruthlessly bullied, shy, angry, and resentful - when withdrawn from the mass-education setting, blossomed over the following years and grew into a poised and confident young adult.

If you are considering homeschooling, there's an important question you need to ponder. What about socialization?

(Hint: Read The Well-Adjusted Child. Highly recommended.)