Foreword to Shattered: Six Steps from Betrayal to Recovery

by Thelma Soares

Mother of Lori Hacking, whose life ended because of betrayal

This book is a significant breakthrough—it should be the required reading “handbook” for everyone who has ever been betrayed. Fay and Bettyanne have gone to great lengths to bring awareness to the physical and emotional abuse of betrayal that temporarily clouds the minds and destroys the hearts of many innocent people. The title, Shattered, describes exactly how I feel, and as I read the book, I am impressed with the timeliness of its message and Fay and Bettyanne’s insight borne of personal experience. I wish I’d had this book years ago as I was struggling through a painful divorce.

Domestic violence is still considered to be primarily physical abuse, and while great efforts have been made to reduce the degrading and disgusting behavior of physical abuse, emotional abuse—specifically in the form of betrayal—has yet to be fully recognized for its tragic and devastating effects. Unlike physical abuse, emotional abuse leaves no visible physical scars but instead penetrates unseen to the very core, leaving in its wake silent, debilitating destruction of the inner spirit. What follows betrayal is a lengthy struggle (usually many years) to understand and deal with this emotional and mental trauma.

My daughter, Lori Hacking, suffered the ultimate betrayal, and her death has changed my life and the lives of my extended family forever. I do not now, nor may I ever in this life, comprehend everything that went so wrong amidst a world that seemed so right. I will mourn for her until the day I die. The domino effect is in full force. But the wisdom found in Shattered and the loving support of people around the world have helped me cope with this tragedy.

I hope Lori will be remembered for the remarkable young woman she was and for her natural ability to find the best in everyone she met. My heart goes out to all those who find themselves, through the goodness of their hearts, in a situation similar to hers. May you have the courage and fortitude to take the necessary steps now to protect yourself against being innocently caught up in a web of lies or tolerating anyone who attempts to break you down through any type of physical or emotional abuse—specifically in the form of betrayal.

May those who have suffered from the effects of betrayal find the peace and solace you need to move beyond this highly misunderstood and painful act to the life you desire and deserve.

Lori was an exceptional student at the University of Utah, where she received the President's Award for outstanding scholastic achievement. She was selected as the George S. Eccles Intern in Business Policy through the Hinckley Institute of Politics. She was also nominated for membership in Beta Gamma Sigma, the honor society for collegiate schools of business. Lori graduated cum laude in December 1999 with a bachelor's degree in Management. In her honor, the Lori Kay Soares Hacking Memorial Scholarship is awarded to a woman in the David Eccles School of Business who is disadvantaged through abuse, family difficulties, or other life circumstances, providing tuition for her junior and senior years. Contributions to the scholarship fund can be made online at rememberlori.com or lori.utah.edu, by calling 1-800-561-LORI, or by mailing contributions to:

Lori Kay Soares Hacking Memorial Scholarship Fund
University of Utah Development Office
201 President's Circle, Room 302
Salt Lake City, UT  84112

Everyone is invited to honor Lori's memory by making a contribution to her scholarship fund that will share the values and ideals she exemplified with future generations of students.